Alright kids! Find a good places to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
What’s 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Mary's mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade
Doctor: you'll be at peace soon, sir. Me: what am I dying? Doctor: no your wife is.
When your driving past a graveyard say: wow people were just dying to get in there.
a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
Why cant a T-Rex Clap
He's Dead
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"
You know every time we think of sex an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution but, when I got there they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you Penaldo!
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed death.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito? He gets to tear that ass up one more time
SPOILER ALERT... I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T___ S____ snapped it away!
Two guys watching a war movie at a Bar are talking , one says to the other. " The Nazi's starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war". The other says " my Dad died in a camp as well...he broke his neck" First guy says " how did he break his neck?" Second guy says " He fell out of the Guard Tower".
Why do people misplace the 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
What did Michael jackson say before he died, as far as his chidhood? This is it.
