Death Jokes

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

-Dark_Humor

You call it death. I call it peace and quiet

noose:" hey man, wanna hang out?" corpse:"sorry man, im dead inside."

We thought that my mother died in the best was possible, during her sleep. But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Q:What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney love before he died? A: “holes gonna be big”

-->[]life death[]<--

I am a dead baby -end joke-

Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?

Because he's dead

Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.

would u rather listen to Justin bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible. there the same thing

So I was at a funeral the other day and it was a school shooting mass funeral, and the lady beside me asked me, “ what do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “ How dare you you have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “well they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”