Death jokes
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
It says the truth
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)