Death jokes
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.