Death jokes
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
The "P" in Batman stands for parents.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.