Death

Death jokes

Son

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.

Rope

Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏

Sex

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.

Impostor

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"

Grandpa

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Cousin

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

JFK

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

Carpet

My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

Irony

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

Kid

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

Orphan

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.