Death jokes

What’s the best time to commit suicide?

8 a’glock in the morning.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

How does the dog dance?

He doesn't... he's dead.

How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why do my kids die?

Stinky Oussy :D

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.

Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?

A: Everywhere.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?

The pose!

Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!