Death jokes
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
Technoblade!
Please tell me you understand this...
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Why did Texas freeze to death? Because they're retarded.
Why did Paul Walker die? Because he crashed a car into a tree.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.