Death jokes
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
I have a body count of 7.
Ammon died.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.