Death jokes
Please don't kill [me].
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Murder, murder, suicide by police.
So I was at a class at school, and then boom, explosion. Lots of dead.
I shoot at the people too, haha, goodbye class. Scary.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
Yo mama so fat, she died!
शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?