Death jokes

This joke is so dark, I need life.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.

Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.

What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?

He Neverland.

Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.

Why do orphans have no parents?

Say your joke in the comments.

Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?

It had nine shots and seven chasers!

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

Error, error, error.

System shutting down.

Why did the cat cross the road?

To die.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.