Death jokes
My dad died lol.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.