Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Death Jokes
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
I killed myself, then woke up.
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
