Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Death Jokes
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
