Death

Death jokes

Parachute

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

Daughter

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Baby

What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.

Orphan

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.

Plane

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

Prayer

Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.

Orphan

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.

Skeleton

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Word

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Baby

What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.