Death jokes
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Name something an orphan can't do?
Go cry to their mommy.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.