Death jokes
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.