Death jokes

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.

Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.

What's big, black, and touches children?

Harambe.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn't close the casket.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Why did the orphan kill itself?

Because he's depressed about no family.

Name something an orphan can't do?

Go cry to their mommy.

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!