Death jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Memes
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... đ"
MC: "đ¨"
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Itâs important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words âantidoteâ and âanecdote,â one of my best friends would still be alive.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasnât a mourning person.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad canât wake them up.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.