Death jokes
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.