Death jokes
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.
I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"
I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"