Dating jokes
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.
She said we can still be cousins.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Girls are just like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Most states: "It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends." Alabama: "She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."