Dating jokes
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.