Dating jokes

Butt

Anonymous · 4 years ago

"Hey, is that a peach?"

*gets slapped on the butt*

"Noted."

Date

D.K. GF · 5 years ago

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)

Woman

11 views · George Tullis · 4 years ago

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Man

8 views · Colin Green · 4 years ago

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

Dick

7 views · anthony bryan · 4 years ago

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

Message

7 views · Kai :) · 3 years ago

this guy randomly messaged me, but i legit have no idea who tf he is lmao

Dating memes

Tractor

Anonymous · 5 years ago

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

Gay

6 views · prince/ mr tallie · 5 years ago

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

Wheel

DiligentFellow · 7 years ago

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

Restraining Order

4 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

Boomerang

1 view · Big Boss Tom · 7 years ago

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

Russia

7 views · That guy · 4 years ago

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Inch

11 views · dev · 5 years ago

Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.

Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.

Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.

Nathan: WE-WE

Alicia: WEE-WEE?

Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes

Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u

Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*

Alicia: *WEIRD*

Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose

Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess

cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou

nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy

cuugh umm

Cheerio

61 views · Anonymous · 6 years ago

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."