Dating jokes

Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.

Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.

Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.

Me: Sorry for your loss.

Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.

Me: Stop, I have a mother.

Hello.

Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

Me: And this is the room I cry in.

Date: You've said that about every room.

Me: Correct!

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Chat date for Gwen and Tj.

Hi, I'm a girl gamer looking for a hot bf.

Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.

Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.

Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.

1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!

2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.

3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.

4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......

5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.

6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!

7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.

8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS

Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....

Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?

Because Stellas hot.