Dating jokes
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."