Dating jokes

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

You know why they call me 007?

0 girls.

0 chances.

7 restraining orders.

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.

Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.

Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.

Me: Sorry for your loss.

Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.

Me: Stop, I have a mother.

Hello.

Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

Me: And this is the room I cry in.

Date: You've said that about every room.

Me: Correct!

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

Chat date for Gwen and Tj.