Dating jokes

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"

SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"

HE: "I'm a butcher."

SHE: "We're through!"

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!

Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.

I don't want to date an alien.

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!

Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.

Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!

TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.

NOT A DATING WEBSITE

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.

I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.

My chance of finding love.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!