What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
Dating Jokes
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
