Dating jokes

Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?

And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.

I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

Because they aren't family!

Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.

9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date? Because he didn't want to see the bill.