Dating jokes

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The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

She walks away and says ok.

The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

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    • What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

    They both have an expiry date.

    I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

    She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

    I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

    Her pants were on fire.

    Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

    Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

    Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

    Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

    Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

    Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

    Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

    Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

    Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

    Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

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    • I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

    I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

    Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

    The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

    Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

    I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

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