Dating jokes

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his butt.

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!