Dating jokes
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
My dick is hard, what's your name?
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.