Dating jokes
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
O Dario tem namorada?
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.