My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Dating Jokes
when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.
O Dario tem namorada?
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
