Dating jokes
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.