why are americans good at rubix cubes there so good at separating colors
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
What makes sad people jump? a bridge
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.
What did the titanic say as it was sinking I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge
What’s the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo, he tried high fiving a tree but it only left him hanging
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag
One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping
so there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs that said hey sir i've never been fucked before will you do the honors and fuck me, so I threw her in the ocean and said well your fucked now.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one. Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
i saw a monkey outside of school and said a look a monkey i got expelled the next day.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair. We started playing rocket league
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards
