Dark Humor
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
Why were the Twin Towers mad at 9/11?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.