Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions
Onions was such a good dog
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with
Is it still stand up comedy if the comedian doesn’t have legs
kid: Dark humor is like a mother love Orphan: How ? Kid: u wouldn't know Orphan: ............
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
why does dark humor love orphans because the humor killed thier parents
It must be not a good suicide story if you can tell it.
I was walking this hot girl home then she noticed me then the walk turned into a run
Wow do you make an orphans hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until there parents come home
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone A. Because he got hit by a truck
What did the hiroshima survivor say about the day little boy dropped? It was a blast
What do Phillips adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time
In syria, there are no walmarts, only targets
Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.
35. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. 41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. 43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
a joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never come back
