Dark Humor
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.