Dark Humor
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."