Illusion Jokes

My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree

Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?

Answer: disappearing acts.

what is an orphans dads job a magician because he makes him self disappear.

My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear. Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him. Go on, so what did you do with ship them?

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.

Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."

"Really?" asked a little girl.

"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real

There was once a spanish magician, he said," Uno,, Dos..." and he dissapppeared without a tres

Are you the voices I've been hearing? because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)

A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist