When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you then they wake you up and say let’s team up like wtf
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them
(Me) Hey bro tell me a joke! (My friend) Your mom *Starts Laughing* (Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him* At this moment he knew he fucked up.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"
Is it normal my emo cousins hobby is tying himself to train tracks.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your sibblings. (Put the knives away >:)
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way
spongebob: easy now you try first get a jar patrick: *picks up nuke* spongebob: patrick that's a nuke patrick: yes nuke: *boom*
"Most Deadly Sport" Playing chicken with a Train!
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
what do you get when the queen fart a noble gas... what do you get when a dino farts a blast from the past.. why are ninja farts so dangerous they are silent but deadly L O L S
S
I was looking forward to some toast...
So i took the toaster in the bath with me
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
If you spin a fidget spinner You'll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you'll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You'll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You'll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you'll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you'll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You'll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere
A cow went into a pride of lion’s territory?
Since that moment he knew his life was on stake
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?
Asking for a friend.
Where did jonny go during the bombing Everywhere
How can you tell if a polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks are missing! What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
