Man: *steals drink*
Boy: broðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who play Pumpes Up Kicks at max Volume
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
