Danger jokes
Bomb.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
I'm like dynamite, you'll never know when I explode.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.