Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way
spongebob: easy now you try first get a jar patrick: *picks up nuke* spongebob: patrick that's a nuke patrick: yes nuke: *boom*
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
what do you get when the queen fart a noble gas... what do you get when a dino farts a blast from the past.. why are ninja farts so dangerous they are silent but deadly L O L S
S
I was looking forward to some toast...
So i took the toaster in the bath with me
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
If you spin a fidget spinner You'll end up spinning it too fast when you end up spinning it too fast It will make you fly away when you fly away you'll end up in a tree when you end up in a tree You'll see that your friends are hanging out without you When you see that your friends are hanging out without you You'll run away in the woods because your sad When you ran away in the woods you'll see a bear when you see a bear it will chase you when the bear chases you you'll build a fort to protect yourself when you build a fort to protect yourself You than notice your lonely You'll become friends with the bear When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear when you start to act like a bear You will become a bear DO NOT BECOME A BEAR NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?
Asking for a friend.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
How can you tell if a polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks are missing! What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
