I can't have my Oreos đ Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Whatâs something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you donât know when or how to stop.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, âNo pets allowed!â He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, âJust pretend you're blind!â He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, âYou know your âguide dogâ is a chihuahua, right?â
The man said, âThey gave me a damn Chihuahua?!â
That dam looks damn cool!
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
what did the man say to his wife? "MAKE ME A DAMN SANDWICH WOMAN!"
Whatâs the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
