Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an englishman. He says things like,
"It's a elevator, not'a lift!"
and
"It's bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the englishman says,
"Hey wankar, it's a school, not a god damned shootin range."
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Damn, I love being a sniper
So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. Thats the third one this week and its only monday
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister? I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!
Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."
So a daughter goes to her dad and says “daddy can I borrow the car?” He the tells her “you know what to do”. So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust and says “ugh tastes like shit” her dad then said “damn I forgot your brother took the car”
Damn bitch you got a big ass for head
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”
Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night
Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said "lets play a game". so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says "A" little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself "well he might say something like a$$" so the teacher calls on sally. sally say "apple". the teacher says "B" little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though "no he might say something like b!tch". so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says "R" little Johnny raises his hand and say "me me please I really know one". then the teacher thinks to herself "well theres no cuss word that starts with R" so she said "ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R" little Johnny says "a rat!" and the teacher very pleased say "very good Johnny what type of rat" little Johnny says "A big gosh damn mother freaker". sorry I had to edit some word but y'all know what I meant.
