Damn

Damn Jokes

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it. He was the best damn pilot in saudi arabia

Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!

Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked," Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are to sharp."

2

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “Change the damn diaper you idiot.”

2

Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night

Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said "lets play a game". so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says "A" little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself "well he might say something like a$$" so the teacher calls on sally. sally say "apple". the teacher says "B" little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though "no he might say something like b!tch". so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says "R" little Johnny raises his hand and say "me me please I really know one". then the teacher thinks to herself "well theres no cuss word that starts with R" so she said "ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R" little Johnny says "a rat!" and the teacher very pleased say "very good Johnny what type of rat" little Johnny says "A big gosh damn mother freaker". sorry I had to edit some word but y'all know what I meant.