Damn jokes
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."
Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"
Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!
Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
Fell Sans: Welp, you're BONED!
Fell Papyrus: DAMN YOU SANS!!!
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again