Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Dad Jokes
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
