Dad jokes
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
Your dad must be a mailman.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.