Dad jokes
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Memes
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.