Dad jokes
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Memes
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."