My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
my dads dead my dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads deadmy dads dea
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
Ya mums, ya dad.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
my dad died lol
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
