Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
