Cuz jokes
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.