I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.