Cuz jokes

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?

'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.

Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?

Because it's dead.

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?

It's cuz they always eat the bat.

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.

What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Why are mountains so smart?

'Cause they have a degree.

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Why don’t orphans play poker?

'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.