Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Iโm posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz Iโm bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isnโt allowed in Africa? A water gun.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
Why canโt girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because theyโll get stoned.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz youโre looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they canโt be straight.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine ๐
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz itโs between 9/11.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Why did Al Qaeda fail geometry?
'Cause they ruined the Pentagon.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
