Crime

Crime jokes

Job

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

Address

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.

Memes

Jedi

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

Garden

I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

Dildo

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

Orphan

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

  • 6
  • Difference

    What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

    You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

    Kidney

    Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

    Baby

    How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

    Open a pizza shop 🍕

    Orphan

    What do you call an orphan with parents?

    I don't know... what?

    Kidnapped. :)

    Wife

    "I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

    "Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

    "No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

    Witness

    What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

    The witnesses.

    People

    Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?

    He does not like roasted vegetables.