Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
Crime Jokes
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
