Council jokes

It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.

Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!

Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?

Only a city council committee would create this mistake.

Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor.

Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.