Council jokes

It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.

Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!

Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?

Only a city council committee would create this mistake.

Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."