Crime jokes
What is black and blue and really hates sex? The six-year-old in my basement.
Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.
I love me a nice tight pussy. That's why I'm in big trouble with RSPCA.
I'm a rapist.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
Leo: Mom?
Mom: Yes!
Leo: Is rape good?
Mom: NO!
Leo: Good cause I raped someone!
Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
@shelby denver is a massive nonce.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.