Crime jokes
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Memes
Just wanna repost from my old account
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.