Crime jokes
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Roses are red, Larry is bad.
I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.