Crime jokes
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
Memes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
I got the joke from my brother.
What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?
White Vans!
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?
Because his TikTok blew up...
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.