Crime jokes
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
Memes
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.