Crime jokes

Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"

Mom: "He got inside a white van."

That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered six offender.

Why did the influencer terrorist get arrested?

Because his TikTok blew up...

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.

A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

Same person.

What did the robber say to the clock?

Hands up!

Why do pedophiles always lose a race?

Because they come in a little behind.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?

He does not like roasted vegetables.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker.

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕