Crime jokes
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
Carly: Hey do [you] want to have sex? [Age] (43)
Zina: No! [Age] (10)
Carly: Good cause I can make you do it anyway! [Age] (43)
What do you spot in this place that [is] gay!
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What do kidnappers play?
Roblox.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.