Crime jokes
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he wanted to be wanted.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
I bought drugs today.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!