Crime jokes
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
How did the guy rob the water park?
He used a water gun!
LOL 💦🔫💧🌊
I'm Batman.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because it was Batman!
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.
How do you turn rape into no rape? Steal her bank details for money transfer.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?