Crime jokes

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.

Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.

You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.

Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?

A: Because they like to come in a little behind.

I always use chloroform when stealing a child.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

Because he wanted to be wanted.

I bought drugs today.

Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

Student one orphan: I don't have any.

Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

Student one orphan: What!

Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?

Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.

What do you call a triggered white kid?

A school shooter!

What do you call a white kid looking at infants?

Pedophilia boy.

Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.

Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!