Crime jokes
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?
...Rape.
Memes
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
Who's Joe?
Joe rapes.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...