Crime jokes
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Memes
the face of a murderer
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
Who's Joe?
Joe rapes.
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
Alvin and the Chipmunks commit war crimes.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."