Crime jokes
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
Memes
Remember: if having guns is against the law, it doesn’t stop law-breakers.
What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?
Trump's dead Russian mates.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8