Crime jokes

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?

The white one actually did it!

What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

What did the priest say during the christening?

"So anyway, I started blasting!"

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.

Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.

If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!

What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:

Here comes the airplane.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.