Crime jokes
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Memes
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."