Crime jokes
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.