Crime jokes

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?

Panera bloodshed.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?

Fitting in.

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

Why do rappers make terrible pirates?

Because they’re always DROPPING HOOKS!

Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.