Crime jokes
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.