Crime jokes
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Memes
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.