Crime jokes
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.
Rape jokes are not funny.
Look at my name by the way😁.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.