What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
Crime Jokes
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
It's not rape if you both like it.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To feel wanted.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
