Conversion jokes
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
Can anyone talk with me? Bored...
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital." "Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!